Cartographical

We could always cuddle

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“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

- Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

Filed under murakami explains my love for angst so much better than i ever could

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Anonymous asked: you are absurdly hilarious. i'd like to grab a drink and let you make me laugh until my stomach hurts. let's do that.

thank you!!! i feel a lot of the time when i am sitting around laughing with people they are laughing at me rather than with me and i am just kind of dumbly playing along, but let’s DO THAT ANYWAYS.

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Anonymous asked: I was so angry with Castle after the finale, but "Rick Castle's Guide" gave me so much more hope for the sixth season. I'm curious about two things: 1. Why did you write it in second person? 2. Why did you end it where you did rather than with the coffee "proposal"?

Thank you! I’m intensely bumbling whenever anyone says anything nice about my writing, but there have been a few people who have said such wonderful things about this random fic. In between shuffling awkwardly and mumbling at my feet, I’m so grateful for people’s appreciativeness that I could squeak. (Also, I don’t usually make conscious writing decisions; I really mostly just get buggy eyes and start randomly hammering on my computer, so trying to determine Past Me’s motivations is a sketchy process.)

1. I think I used second person because the extent of my rage was basically boundless after “Watershed,” and stop my own histrionic apoplexy I needed to literally fling myself directly into Castle’s shoes with less distance than my usual BFF 3rd person limited. Also, 2nd person is a little bit funnier and a lot harder to whine in than any other POV, and I needed something that would severely curtail my whining.

2. I actually originally HAD ended with with Beckett just saying “Yes,” and Sandiane Carter was like, “Hey. Can we get ANYTHING more than just that one word?” And that made me realize that I didn’t really WANT to write a fic where Beckett accepts or doesn’t accept the proposal, because that’s not what I ultimately care about. I care about seeing them (both of them, but really I’m going to go ahead and say I want to see it more from Castle right now) put in the day-to-day emotional work of being in a long-term committed relationship — not with a ring or with a huge symbolic gesture, but with a clear head and a handful of paper towels and the knowledge that it is going to be a long process that is so messy and so worth it. 

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Anonymous asked: My dear Carto, please explain Yoj, Msolly, and Psolly to me.

um. sometimes i consume alcohol and then i get on the internet?

actually, i think “psolly” might have been molly making a critical error? maybe? “yoj” and “msolly” i do not ENTIRELY recall, but that is simply more proof that i was stupidly and drunkenly typing things that somehow stuck.

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Anonymous asked: You should make Laura write more mega-angst, like Unvanquished and Wrecking Ball. haha

OKAY. mega-angst is absolutely never a bad idea EVER.

i am pretty constantly chirruping about her writing angsty spy castle though, so she might need some other people to lean on her with this one in case she gets sick of me asking her for things (note: this probably happened a long time ago).

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Anonymous asked: I love you, Carto.

thank you! i do not really know you you are, anon, but i am sure i love you too.

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Rick Castle's Guide to Marrying Kate Beckett, a castle fanfic | FanFiction

sandianecarter:

writingwell:

cartographicalconspiracy:

“You know what “Watershed” needs? A second person step-by-step guide!” said nobody ever.

this one is perrrrrfect. IT IS PERFECT. and I normally despise second person. only Jessie could make me love it so hard.

YESSSSSSSSS

HAHA i am still not sure how i feel about second person or about watershed but it makes me smile so much to see so many people being so NICE to my ridiculous story. 

Also i did not say thanks earlier to Sandiane Carter because i am a bumbling moron but she read 2.5 scenes of this random 2nd person rant and smacked me around until i turned it into a coherent story and then fixed it for me when parts of it were still incoherent and basically was just intensely awesome.

Filed under sandiane carter

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Anonymous asked: Lol shaming Molly is like a guilty pleasure. I feel bad doing it, but she is so adorable to poke (and of course because i am hoping it will somehow make her writing-brain work as fast as lightning and give us update, pronto ;)) Anywayy, i'll be waiting for your updates. Damn bronchitis. Its evil. I hope you get back to health fast! <3

i don’t feel bad shaming Molly AT ALL. EVER.

i would probably get healthier faster if if i could just curl up in a little ball and sleep but sadly bronchitis is probably getting more than its fair share of blame than it really deserves; if i could just stop WORKING for like five seconds i would be a little more on top of life.